Arguments over money are the single biggest friction in all relationships. Sometimes I think money harmony is a bigger imperative than any other. How we spend money may be the greatest physical manifestation of our value system than anything else in our lives. it’s the ultimate visceral expression of our beliefs.
{Joel Salatin Your Successful Farm Business}
Have you ever had something you needed to tell someone, but then you wait too long and the moment has passed and then it gets weird to bring it up?
Money discussions in a relationship are kind of like that.
That’s why the best way to avoid money arguments is to start a relationship with the understanding that money discussions are a necessity.
I’ve talked before about how my husband and I discussed money very early in our relationship. But here’s the thing, it doesn’t have to be an awkward sit down where you stare into each other’s eyes and say lovingly, “how do you want to handle our money?”
That’s weird. And it would probably freak the other person out.
Rather than having having a serious sit down, look for opportunities to bring up a money conversation naturally. It may be sharing stories of how money was handled in your house growing up or when you did or didn’t get a toy you wanted. These count as money talks!
There’s a lot to learn about people from hearing them talk about their early financial experiences and their reactions to them. Did they feel like they never got what they wanted as a kid? Did this make them desperate to give their kids everything they want no matter the cost or manage their money so they are able to truly afford what they want?
However you decide to start, talking about money early and often is the best way to avoid money fights as the relationship progresses.
If you’ve been in a relationship for awhile and haven’t really discussed money and finances, stay tuned! I’ll be digging into that soon, and I’m working on a resource to help couples discuss money together no matter the stage of the relationship.
What are your tips for bringing up money discussions???
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